remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
