We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
