Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
