it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
