I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
