One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
