Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
