So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
