Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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