Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't deserve a penis
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
