hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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