We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
