i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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