She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize