mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have demons in me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
