he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
