brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
