We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
