how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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