I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
