Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
