Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i think i just lost a toe
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
