you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
