remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
