i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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