yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
