Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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