i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
where does the pee come out of this thing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize