You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
