so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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