Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
not ubering you a puppy
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
