I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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