I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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