I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I see more hoeing in ur future
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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