Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
