Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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