so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
