He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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