8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
