you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
