Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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