somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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