but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
