Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
