i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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