But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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