Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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