Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
