Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had to coat check the pizza.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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