Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
