just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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