There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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