VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My feet surprised me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
