you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
