so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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