Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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