I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
