We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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