Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
