I just pynch a tree in the face
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
