Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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