Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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