the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
