I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
