stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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