He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
