What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
