I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
