i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
