it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
