dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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