we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
