His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
