Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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