He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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